Memories of War Haunt Huntley Veteran

Frank Wheeler won’t be at any Memorial Day parades. He’ll be sitting in his wheelchair, probably wearing his trademark black baseball hat that reads “Purple Heart Wounded Veteran.”

The Vietnam veteran doesn’t go to parades. People don’t understand if he starts crying or if he starts staring into space as he’s emotionally and mentally transported to the years he spent in Vietnam.

A Heritage Woods resident, Wheeler served in the U.S. Marines from 1967 to 1978. He was 18 years old when he first saw combat.

He is one of five veterans at the assisted living facility, said Lynn Mortenson, who plans activities at Heritage Woods. Heritage Woods has held events throughout the month for veterans and their families. The veterans include 99-year-old Frank Weeks, a World War II veteran. Weeks only remembers some things about his expereince.

But the memories of the war and combat are very vivid for Wheeler.

“The first one that sticks in my mind, I had a friend who had gone down to check a loose wire (on an explosive)…he went down,” Wheeler said. “They blew him up. I saw it.”

His friend’s death was the first of many Wheeler witnessed, he said.

On this Memorial Day, Americans will remember their fallen soldiers. Wheeler remembers every day. He body and mind ache with the memories.

Purple Hearts

The black hat that Wheeler always wears has a purple strip that signifies a wounded soldier. The military gives a Purple Heart for every time a person is wounded, he said. Wheeler has seven Purple Hearts.

Those wounds have healed but left behind scars on his mind and his body—including a metal plate in his head. He suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD.

Wheeler can’t remember conversations he has with people around the assisted living home or the names of staff, yet he relives what happened to him more than 40 years ago. He has cerebral damage that affects his memory and his balance, which is why he is in a wheelchair at age 61.

But the PTSD keeps his memories of the war fresh, he said, particularly at night.

One memory is of a conversation he had with a commanding officer after his friend’s death.

“The Sgt. Major called me in the office and said ‘What’s your (expletive) problem? What are you going to do about your buddy?”

Wheeler told him: “Kill" and his leader handed him a gun.

Wheeler was a good Marine, so he fought in combat, he avenged his friend’s death on the battlefield and he signed up for a second tour because “I had a death wish,” he said.

The young Marine would be the first one firing into the enemy, which led to his some of his injuries, but he was fearless. Wheeler fell off a helicopter and was blown up in a Jeep.

He saw things that he still doesn’t talk about.He recalled holding a friend's arm during combat and then watching it fall off his body.

“It hurts you to see your friends go down,” Wheeler said.

Survival

The Huntley man wonders how he survived “every day,” he said.

After he left the Marines, he had to be rehabilitated. His mindset had to be changed. He went on with his life, had two daughters and married four times. He fourth wife died a few years ago.

One of his daughters lives nearby with her two sons. His son-in-law is like a son. Talking about his grandsons bring a smile to Wheeler's face. His grandsons bring him joy, he said. 

It is the little bit of joy he has in his life.

“I have agony everyday,” Wheeler said, adding he takes morphine for the pain.

He wasn’t diagnosed with PTSD until years after he left the service.

The illness is something that affects the people in your life, he said. '

“The rule is when you have PTSD, the people you love have PTSD," he said. "The reason is I’m voicing my pain. I am addressing my pain, with that I scare a lot of people. That’s why I can’t talk to people about it.”

Wheeler’s body shakes when he thinks about his experience.

“I sit there, stare out of the window and just shake and stare—a stare that will cut right through you,” he said. “I smell the blood. I remember the things I did."

There are good days, he said.

There are days he goes on outings, to the riverboat casino or to lunch, with other Heritage Woods residents. He smiles with the staff and jokes with some of them.

The other day, he was out with his hat on and someone approached him.

The stranger “thanked him,” he said. Wheeler said he’s not use to people doing that and was grateful.

But it may have meant more to him than he wants to say. He told Mortenson, one of the few people he consistently remembers, of the stranger's words.

 “He said it made him feel good,” she said.