Sun City Tackles Domestic Violence

The woman sat in the back row in brown crop pants, a white top, dangling earrings and sandals quietly listening to Huntley Sgt. Linda Hooten outline the signs of domestic violence.

Later, during a question and answer portion of Hooten’s presentation at Sun City Huntley last week, the woman stood up to share her own story.

Verbal abuse is just as bad as physical abuse, the woman said, adding she was in a relationship for with a man who was extremely verbally abusive.

“He made me feel like I wasn’t anything,” the woman said.

She got out of the relationship six years ago.

“You are absolutely right,” Hooten said, about the impact of verbal abuse. “It’s hard for people on the outside to see that. I’m glad you got away.”

Verbal abuse, emotional abuse and/or psychological abuse are part of the domestic violence cycle that culminates with an act of violence. The cycle starts with the honeymoon phase, tension building and acute explosion, she said. Denial is also part of the process, she said.

Hooten, who oversees the Huntley police department’s domestic violence program, spoke at an education program aimed at teaching people the signs of abuse and how to help. The program was organized by Sun City residents in response to a domestic violence homicide earlier this year. Michelle Mathieu died March 24. Her boyfriend, Robert Signorile, is charged with first- degree murder.

According to statistics, 28 to 33 percent of married couples have experienced domestic violence while 50 percent of dating couples report incidents of violence.

One in four women will experience domestic violence at some point in her lifetime, Hooten said.

“The victim is just beat down, self-esteem goes down,” she said. “It gives the offender more power, more control over that victim.”

Domestic violence is a very private situation, Hooten said. It wasn’t until the late 1970s and 1980s that police began recognizing domestic violence. Prior to that time, police did not respond to those calls. The thought was you don’t hang dirty laundry out, she said.

Police started enforcing existing laws and new laws protecting victims and punishing offenders were passed at that time, Hooten said.

The Sun City education program drew about 60 people, including the woman who spoke about verbal abuse. Hooten said women of that generation grew up and married in the era when domestic violence was not considered a crime, she said.

“It wasn’t technically a crime,” Hooten said. “It was private. It was a family problem you took care of.”

“It’s a little harder for them to understand and recognized the magnitude of it,” she said.

The Sun City education program drew about 60 people but Karen Kennedy, president of the Neighbors Advisory Council for Sun City, pointed out that people who really needed to hear the information weren’t present.

A person becomes a victim of domestic violent every nine seconds, Kennedy said. She asked for a minute of silence as a bell ringed every nine seconds.

“I’d like for us to think of Michelle and those victims that will be hurt in the next minute,” she said.

Linda Carroll, who lived across the street from Mathieu tried to reach out and offered help, to no avail. Carroll recommended a program be held to address domestic violence.

“I think it was a good turnout,” Carroll said. “I think it’s reaching a lot of people and I’m thankful for that.”

Sun City leaders will continue addressing the issue by forming a support group. Kennedy hopes to form one soon.  A domestic violence counselor who lives in Sun City, Kathie Green, offered to work with anyone who is facing domestic violence. Her phone number is 850-428-0582.

“All of you have power now,” Kennedy said.